Here we are ! 2019 started. We all took our new resolutions ! Walk way are full of people by new morning runners, gym just made their best money… Books about losing weight are out of stock in every library et we all made this promise : in 2019, we will take care of ourselves. Me, for this year, I decided to learn something new.
For 2019, I decided to learn how to rollerblade. Not the lines ones, no, no I decided to learn roller-quad. Exactly like kids ! I bought it in Paris, the brand is Rookie, pink, if Adidas decided one day to launch Rollerquad, it will be the same as mine. And so, the plan is to be able to do some jumps and choreography in December 2019.
The first question people asked me when I started talking about is why ? That’s true ! Why ? After a hard breakup in 2010, I decided to do something new every year. I don’t know why, I’ve limited myself to travels and sporty things. 220km by bike or a half-marathon, for example. But I’ve never did anything that last.
I always challenge myself, but I never try to ameliorate what I do. For example, if we keep talking about the half-marathon or the 220km by bike, I didn’t care about the time. I just wanted to do it. And so when it’s finish… well, it’ finish ! It’s done. I don’t have the ambition to be faster or to be better prepared. No… Ok, maybe I would love to do 500 km by bike, but even if it takes me a complete month, I will be happy.
Always starting new things
Basically, I always start things, and I never finish it. Or I never make it better.
Two years ago, I bought a new sewing machine. I just wanted to sew my own washable coton, to remove my make up without waste. And after, I wanted to work on it and ameliorate my skills to be able to do my own clothes. It’s my dream, to buy materials and sew my own clothes. Weeeell, the sewing machine is on. That’s it ! Ready to work, I watched one hundred tutorials on YouTube and I never did anything.
I also tried embroidery. I bought everything I needed : two hoops – a small and a big one – three basics H&M cotton T-shirt – one grey, one black, one white – and I started embroidering. So now, I am happy, I have a black T-shirt with a childish cat face and a grey T-shirt with a heart. Now, I know how to embroider T-shirt with easy draws. And now, the hoops, the last T-shirt and the needles are in a plastic bag.
I started to learn Arabic. Not by myself, no ! I took lessons. Really seriously, every Saturday mornings, I went to my Arabic lessons. I learned the alphabet, I learned how to write and I learned how to read. And after the second session, I decided that life has so many better things to teach me !
I am curious about everything. I want to learn and know everything. About sewing, I was interested by how the sewing machine works. Now, I can have deep conversation about it. How to put a needle, how to change the sewing thread. I wanted to be able to embroider small and easy draws. Done. I know how to knit a scarf. Ok it will be a really basic scarf but it still a scarf. I am happy because even if I don’t understand, I can read few words in Arabic. Even if I forgot a lot, I can remember how to read Russian…
To stay focus on one thing
I really think that everything in us is related. For example, I can’t stay focus on one passion, it’s the same with my relationship. I discover someone, I am glad and then I want to discover someone else. I always start fifteen things at the same time, sometimes one looks better than the other, but at the end, I just give up according to all the new things that come to my life.
It’s a real mystery that this blog is still here. But I think you realized that I am more on Instagram and I am taking it really seriously. But I am also thinking about a YouTube channel… And why not an e-book ? Or this ? And that ? help ! I am losing myself again !
But, deeply, I think that if we work on one aspect of our life, it will affect all the others. So maybe, if I focus on rollerblading, I will be able to not lose myself in my relationships/friendships ? So, we will see.
Why rollerblading ?
I want to start rollerblading for years now, and I never started. I am an introvert, so most of the time, things I wanna learn can be learned alone, at home. For example, I started running on a treadmill.
What about rollerblading ? I have to go outside. And I have to go outside on a walkway. I have to confess : I found my balance alone in my flat, in Kuwait. I even didn’t try it in the shop or at my parent’s house. So the first time I went outside to practice, I was so nervous, I think I was about to do a heart attack.
And I kept going and I fell down. I fell down right in front of two girls, two guys and some kids. The two guys helped me standing up and the kids were looking at me. Only thinking about it make me feel so ashamed. But I was telling to myself that it’s OK, the worst part is not to fall, the worst part is to give up.
So I just got up and I left. I am writing this article today, and I can say I started rollerblading one week ago. And if I really want to be honest about it, I already start to be bored because now, I can say that I can rollerblade. For me, the hardest part is never to start, the hardest part is to keep going.
Stop learning, start practicing.
While I was writing this article, I just realized that I love to learn. I am passionate by new things. For example, I know a lot of things about pregnancy, giving birth and new borns. If I want to be honest, I can talk about everything. I don’t want to sound pretentious, I feel like I am a huge box full of a lot of things… more or less interesting.
But as soon as I have to practice : nobody’s here ! Liz runs away ! Bye bye, guys ! I am always up to think about things but practicing ? Forget about it ! I am exactly the kind of person who can know how to drive an helicopter even if I never had one feet in it.
So, for 2019, I decided to stop learning, and start practicing.
What do I win ?
When we want to learn new things, we need a lot of stuff for it. The two most importants are : self confidence and to be ok with fails. Self confidence goes and leaves, according to the moon I guess. And it’s really hard for me to fail.
I don’t want to embarrass myself. I stopped the Arabic lessons because we started talking and I was ashamed of my accent… Instead of accepting that I will never speak Arabic like a native speaker, I decided to stop.
I want to learn roller quad because I want to gain in self confidence, I want to learn that things take time and I have to be patient… I also want to learn that it’s not a big deal to fail. Obviously, I also do it to have fun but I think everything in our lives is related.
I made a list of every steps I had to go thru in order to be better. I wanted to see my progress. And one of the step was “fall in front of someone”. I think I can’t live something more humiliating than this. So I really need to keep going !
And you ? Do you want to try something new for 2019 ?