In France, November is the month without tobacco. A lot of people decided to quit smoking the first of November, thanks to this month. I took this decision the 27th of September, after an evening with my neighbor. So now, it been six weeks since I decided to quit. So, how was it ?
As I said in my first post, it’s not the first time I quit smoking. I did it a few times. My biggest fear is to gain weight. I lost fifteen kilos and I really don’t want to gain it again. So, six weeks later, what was the most difficult part ?
Let’s talk about numbers
I quit smoking 6 weeks before. 47 days, to be precise.
I saved 71 euros. Here in Kuwait, cigarettes are cheap, so the paquet costs less than 3 euros. 10 cigarettes per day is 1,50€ saved every day, 10,50€ per week, 45€ per month and 544,50€ per year ! It’s the price of a ticket back to France !
I didn’t smoke 473 cigarettes. It means that I didn’t smoke 10 cigarettes per day, 70 per week, 300 per month and 3 650 per year ! It’s a lot !
I earned 87 hours of life. 1 hour per day, 12 hours per week, 55 hours per month and 27 days per year !
I didn’t lose 31 hours of my life smoking cigarettes. For one cigarette, it’s 4 minutes lost. So I didn’t lose 40 minutes per day, 4 hours per week, 19 hours per month and 10 days per year ! 10 days is the time I spent in Iran !
Even if it’s hard, there is advantages when you quit smoking.
A better sleep
The first advantage I have to talk about is the fact that I sleep better. Less but way much better. First days were difficult because I woke up really early, like 2:30AM. I have a better energy, I am less tired daily and I don’t need as much sleep as before.
I have a lot of motivation to do new things. Obviously I am a bit lazy so most of the time, I don’t keep doing it, but at least, I start now.
I signed up for the half marathon. I keep doing sport in the morning, even if the weather is not good enough to run outside.
A better taste
Everything I eat is like new for me now. I don’t know if it’s good or really bad, but everything taste way much better now. Sweet or salty, everything is good. I can taste things. Obviously, I now eat more so I don’t know if it’s good but… at least, I take pleasure when it’s about eating.
A better sense of smell
I can smell things. I can smell my perfume or my shampoo in my hair. The food I am cooking had now a smell. Unfortunately, I also can smell the cigarette on my clothes after I went out with a smoker.
A better breathe
So now I can run without being breathless. I have a bretter breather and using the stairs is not really hard as before. And I hope the half-marathon will be ok, regarding to the breathe.
A beautiful skin
I have a better skin. Clearer, my skin looks healthier. I still have dark circles and I wish I had a magic solution for this ! If you have one, share it with me please !
And the small disadvantages
We don’t talk a lot about the disadvantages of quitting smoking. But they exist. The beginnings are hard. You have to deal with anger and anxiety. The over-excitment too. It’s nice to have a lot of energy but it’s hard to deal with it. I couldn’t stay home without feeling depressed and it’s still hard, sometimes.
I have blocked nose and a cough. It’s like I have a flu and I will I have to deal with it for the rest of my life.
I’ve been thru depressed phases. I am really sensitive and hyper emotional. But since I quit, it’s a disaster. I can’t make the difference between anger, tiredness and sadness. No matter what happens, I cry. I am not able to deal with my feelings anymore. Sometime, I feel like powerless, unable to do anything.
But I have to be honest …
I smoked. More than one time and never in situations I thought. I was a bit scared of the cigarette-with-coffee. Or the cigarette after lunch. Or even the cigarette with friends. But no. I was scared of a lot of situation but it was ok, surprisingly, it was ok.
I can deal with hunger, anger or social events. Smokers don’t bother me. I can eat a big meal without needing to smoke after it. Sometimes, I want to eat everything but it’s ok, I don’t smoke.
First time I smoked was after an awful day. It was just the kind of bad day, this days when you feel you just have to deal with deceptions. One deception, two deceptions, three deceptions, I drove around all Kuwait for something and I went back home with nothing. So I sat on my sofa, and I smoked to not cry.
Since I decided to quit, I smoked seven or eight cigarettes, something like this.
The big mistake
The fact is, when you quit smoking, you have to be in the “zero tolerance” process. When you smoke one cigarette, it’s like you didn’t do anything. You have to deal with everything as if it was the beginning of the journey.
You have to deal again with the obsession, with the huge anger, with the blocked nose and with the cough.
And it’s hard, also to keep going when you smoked one cigarette. It’s hard to stay focus and not thinking like it’s fine, I smoked one, I fucked it so let’s just go back on it. It’s hard to stay strong when you fall once.
But it’s ok, it’s not a big deal with you smoke one cigarette. As long as you stay focus and don’t decide to smoke another one and again and again, it’s ok. You learn, that’s it.
What I’ve learned
I learned that I was a sporty girl ! Yeah, cigarette helps me with my mental health. It was what I thought, actually it was a fake help but I thought it was a good one. Now, since I quit, I realized how important is sport in my life. If I do sport, I don’t think about cigarettes. If not, I am anxious, nervous and I only to smoke.
Also, I learned how to control my hunger. Ok, about it, let’s say I am still learning… I drink a lot of tea and coffee to not be tempted by sweets and chocolate. Because this is my passion. I have to deal with the fact that I want to eat. It’s not about hunger, it’s about the need to eat. I know I will gain weight. They say a non smoker weight two kilos more than a smoker. Let’s see…
How to conclude ?
Those six weeks were really hard ! I had to deal with a lot of things and it was sometimes hard to not have my worst friend ever with me. I know I smoked but I am glad I didn’t smoke as much as I could.
I’d rather think about all the cigarettes I didn’t smoke than thinking about all the cigarettes I smoked. I smoked but I am not a smoker again. Obviously, my goal is to never smoke again. Even if I am sad, even if I am angry. I want to deal with my feelings alone. I guess you have to wish me luck for this 😉