Before leaving for Kuwait, I was a non-smoker. And I went back to smoking when I arrive in Kuwait. It’s easier to meet colleagues – they are all in the smoking room – it gives you something to do and it helps to make bonds with people. To be clear : socially, smoking always helped me ! But I decided, 48 hours ago, to quit smoking.
How many times did you quit ?
I started smoking when I was eighteen years old and I quit so many times. At least, five. But three times are really important for me and mean a lot. The first time, I quit for five months only. But I gained five kilos, so that’s why I went back to smoking. The second time for around two years and I went back to smoking when I came to Kuwait. The last time was only for one month or two, I didn’t want to stop…
I know I can quit smoking. I know exactly what I will go thru, I know my weaknesses and this time, I decided to not be fooled !
My relationship with cigarette
As I wrote before, I started smoking when I was eighteen. I’ve always been a bit shy, it’s hard for me to go and talk to other people, I always feel I am in the wrong place and as stupid as it sounds, cigarette always help me to be part of a big group.
When I arrive somewhere, if I don’t know anyone, I know I have a common point with all the smokers here. I have something to ask ? I will go first ask for a lighter and after I will ask what I have to ask !
However, I hate being dependent on something. I hate to know that I smell cold cigarette all day long. Waking up is a disaster : I feel as if my nose was full of dust and I cough as if I was sick. Sometime, I have anxiety because I know I won’t be able to smoke for a long time. I can be really nervous about it. And it’s a vicious circle because being anxious and nervous only give you one thing… The urge to smoke.
Why did I decide to stop ?
Being dependent makes me tired and mad. If I have to be honest : I don’t gain anything from cigarette. Cigarette does not bring me anything. And I know I feel better without it.
Thursday morning, in the smoking room, smoking a cigarette, I was talking with a colleague about the Gulf Bank Marathon. He says that, if I want, I can join him and another colleague to run the half marathon and we talk a bit about it. He wants to break his personal record, and I am just not sure that I am able to run 21,1km. So I send a text to one of my Kuwaiti friend – who runs 60km sometimes – asking him if he is OK to run with me for this. And he is ok !
I spend my day at work and at night, I am with my lovely neighbor. On talk, we ate Elevation Burger and we smoke while chatting. My lips are dry because I smoked too much and I think about the half marathon and my decision. Slowly, during the evening, I took my decision… Tonight, I will smoke my last cigarette.
To quit smoking : the symptoms
It’s been forty four hours since I quit smoking. For now, I don’t have a lot of symptoms… It’s the weekend, I don’t feel any stress and the weather outside is nice. Yesterday, I ran 9km, I spent the day with a good friend and today I am having a coffee in a nice place while I am writing this article.
However, after my first coffee, it was hard to resist. After lunch too. The urge of cigarette is fast but really, really strong. During five minutes, you only think about one thing : to smoke a cigarette. It doesn’t come randomly. It’s really important to recognize when the urges come.
I confess that I have a weird headache. I am a bit dizzy. Apparently it’s because now when I breathe, I have more oxygen. The brain is not used to it anymore so that’s why you can feel dizzy when you quit smoking.
And… Obviously, I cough a lot. My body is cleaning itself. I know I will probably get sick really soon. For now, I just have like a small flu, I spend my days with Kleenex !
To quit smoking : the benefits
I know that the benefits worth what I am going thru. They are really enjoyable and you forget easily the inconvenient of quitting. Soon, people will smell my perfume and not cigarette. I will soon taste the real taste of food and breathing will be easier.
Soon, I will be able to run without feeling that I will die every time I breathe. For now, my main motivation is the half-marathon. I am too proud to fail in front of my friend so I want to have all the chances by my side. Giving up is not an option ! I want to finish this race without feeling that I am almost dying.
Obviously, I will let you know how it goes ! I will write an article in one month, to tell you how it goes ! Are you interested ?
And you ? Do you smoke ? Did you stop or do you want to stop ?
By the way, you can find me on Instagram ! Follow me to see more pictures of my daily life in Kuwait. I will see you there !